Our Stories
By the Unlearning of Your Mind
By Abigail Short | posted 07/19/2007
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2 NIV)
I've recently taken up ballroom dancing. In an average week, I dance about five to six hours over two evenings of lessons and open dance. It's a great workout and a fun social activity, but the learning curve at the beginning is quite steep. I was fortunate ("blessed," you might say) to find a group very open to dancing with and teaching beginners, and I therefore attempted to learn as much as I could, so that dancing would become more fun.
It's interesting but not surprising that once you reach the point where you know enough dancing to have fun, you've probably become quite addicted as well. (Doctors tend to encourage this sort of addiction to modest physical activity, as it's apparently quite beneficial to your health.) Once you've become addicted, you might find yourself with the desire to more intentionally improve your skills, since you assume (probably with accuracy) that if you can dance even better, you'll have even more fun.
When I reached this point and started paying attention to my dancing technique, I learned something alarming: I'd been doing it all wrong! Not all wrong, of course; but in my haste to learn the steps and rhythms, I'd picked up quite a few bad habits as well. The worst part was that none of my bad habits were serious problems; rather, they were small things that most people wouldn't even have noticed. Yet they were important for style, comfort and safety, and therefore they're important to correct.
We instinctively know that it's much harder to correct a bad habit than it is to learn something new (that is, to learn it right in the first place). With dancing, it's almost to be expected, because if I had never reached the point of having fun, I'd never have danced enough to need to do it right. With life, it's different.
Of course it would be ideal to learn everything properly the first time, but that's not usually how it happens. We may grow up in dysfunctional families and have to learn how to feel and express true love. When we come to Christ, we have to learn how to be a disciple. Even something simple, like moving, may be a big change that requires learning about a whole new place. In each case, learning the new skills requires a fair amount of retraining - "unlearning," as it were. You have to unlearn the unhealthy communication habits of your childhood, or the profane ways of speech to which you were accustomed, or the expectation of temperate weather.
All of those habits are literally engraved in your brain, little neuron trails that the new brain impulses like to follow. My friend Becky once likened habits to trails made in the sand on a beach. Once the water has found a channel, it will continue to follow that channel, and it won't change course unless someone comes along and digs a new one.
These habits can be of thought as well as of deed. We all have familiar trains of thought that are really our brains stuck in a rut. Paul tells us in Romans 12:2 to be transformed and renewed. Put another way, we need to get out of the bad rut and make a new, better one! That means recognizing that we'll have to unlearn the old ways of thinking and acting so that we can find the godly ways.
It still takes a lot of practice to learn proper dance techniques, even after you've had the right way pointed out to you. That's why Paul urges us to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV). It sounds like he knows that doing so is a struggle. But if we never unlearn the bad habits, we can't put good ones in their place. At first we'll still do it wrong more often than we do it right, so we must give ourselves the grace to make mistakes ... and then remember that anything we can learn, we can unlearn.
Abigail can be reached at abigail@daughteroflight.com.
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"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2 NIV)
I've recently taken up ballroom dancing. In an average week, I dance about five to six hours over two evenings of lessons and open dance. It's a great workout and a fun social activity, but the learning curve at the beginning is quite steep. I was fortunate ("blessed," you might say) to find a group very open to dancing with and teaching beginners, and I therefore attempted to learn as much as I could, so that dancing would become more fun. It's interesting but not surprising that once you reach the point where you know enough dancing to have fun, you've probably become quite addicted as well. (Doctors tend to encourage this sort of addiction to modest physical activity, as it's apparently quite beneficial to your health.) Once you've become addicted, you might find yourself with the desire to more intentionally improve your skills, since you assume (probably with accuracy) that if you can dance even better, you'll have even more fun. When I reached this point and started paying attention to my dancing technique, I learned something alarming: I'd been doing it all wrong! Not all wrong, of course; but in my haste to learn the steps and rhythms, I'd picked up quite a few bad habits as well. The worst part was that none of my bad habits were serious problems; rather, they were small things that most people wouldn't even have noticed. Yet they were important for style, comfort and safety, and therefore they're important to correct. We instinctively know that it's much harder to correct a bad habit than it is to learn something new (that is, to learn it right in the first place). With dancing, it's almost to be expected, because if I had never reached the point of having fun, I'd never have danced enough to need to do it right. With life, it's different. Of course it would be ideal to learn everything properly the first time, but that's not usually how it happens. We may grow up in dysfunctional families and have to learn how to feel and express true love. When we come to Christ, we have to learn how to be a disciple. Even something simple, like moving, may be a big change that requires learning about a whole new place. In each case, learning the new skills requires a fair amount of retraining - "unlearning," as it were. You have to unlearn the unhealthy communication habits of your childhood, or the profane ways of speech to which you were accustomed, or the expectation of temperate weather. All of those habits are literally engraved in your brain, little neuron trails that the new brain impulses like to follow. My friend Becky once likened habits to trails made in the sand on a beach. Once the water has found a channel, it will continue to follow that channel, and it won't change course unless someone comes along and digs a new one. These habits can be of thought as well as of deed. We all have familiar trains of thought that are really our brains stuck in a rut. Paul tells us in Romans 12:2 to be transformed and renewed. Put another way, we need to get out of the bad rut and make a new, better one! That means recognizing that we'll have to unlearn the old ways of thinking and acting so that we can find the godly ways. It still takes a lot of practice to learn proper dance techniques, even after you've had the right way pointed out to you. That's why Paul urges us to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV). It sounds like he knows that doing so is a struggle. But if we never unlearn the bad habits, we can't put good ones in their place. At first we'll still do it wrong more often than we do it right, so we must give ourselves the grace to make mistakes ... and then remember that anything we can learn, we can unlearn. Abigail can be reached at abigail@daughteroflight.com. |
