Our Stories
Re-tire-meant
By Kim Hjelm | posted 06/05/2008
"...at the age of 50 they must retire from their regular service and work no longer" (Numbers 8:25)
First, I am going to borrow something from someone most of you know and love, Mr. Fred Rogers - he said:
For a long time I wondered why I felt like bowing when people showed their appreciation for the work I've been privileged to do. What I have come to understand is that we who bow are probably - whether we know it or not - acknowledging the presence of the eternal: we are bowing to the eternal in our neighbor. You see, I believe that appreciation is a holy thing, that when we look for what's best in that person we happen to be with at the moment, we're doing what God does. So, in loving and appreciating our neighbor, we're participating in something truly sacred.
So, I bow to you for being God-like and showing appreciation!
Well, I have not had that much time to really "think" about retirement - actually I am not really even sure that is what I am doing - so I decided to do some research to find out what this retirement business is all about. Where do you go when you are trying to figure things out? You go to the places where you will find wisdom...those places and those people that you trust. That was easy... Wikipedia, Kermit the Frog and again, Mr. Rogers!
First for the 'facts' - Wikipedia says:
Retirement is the point where a person stops employment. This usually happens upon reaching a determined age, when physical or mental conditions don't allow the person to work any more. (I am not going to put this out for discussion and just say in MY opinion, this is NOT the case!) OR, it is a personal choice - usually in the presence of an adequate pension or personal savings. (Now, we all know that is not true...isn't the phrase "adequate pension" an oxymoron?)
Retirement is also sports jargon for the situation where a team decides never again to issue the jersey number of a retired or deceased player, as a token of honor. (I do have a Creekside sweatshirt, does that count?)
Early Retirement had its own entry...Early retirement can be at any age, but is generally before the age (or tenure) needed for eligibility for support and funds from government or employer-provided sources. Thus, early-retirees rely on their own savings and investments to be initially self-supporting. (Dave is not feeling very well at the moment!)
None of these seem to be quite right. So rule out Wikipedia! Perhaps my trust in Wikipedia is misplaced. Let's see what the frog has to say....in his book Before You Leap; A Frog's-Eye View of Life's Greatest Lessons, Kermit shares (with his usual wit and wisdom) about life, love and making the world a better place.
In the chapter titled, "Take a Flying Leap" which by the way is just after the chapter titled, "The Seven Dreams of Highly Effective Amphibians", and just before the chapter, "Don't Sweat The Small Bugs - and They are All Small Bugs", Kermit expounds on living life to the fullest and realizing your dreams:
Whether you just dropped your tail or your tail dropped a very long time ago, one thing is certain: You'll probably need a push to get started. Having dreams and setting goals is important, but nothing is going to happen if you sit in the fog like a frog agog on a log in a bog. You need to get off your tail, leap off your lily pad and get on with it. (Page 87)
Finally, I am sensing some relevant wisdom. And there is more! In Chapter 16 ("Moving Your own Cheese or How to Stay Hip & Creative") he advises:
Never get too settled. When you spend too much time resting on your laurels, all you get is a sore backside and a bunch of sorry-looking crushed laurels. You need to seek new challenges, open yourself up to new influences, and find a safe place to put those laurels so they don't get sat on again. (Page 205)
This is sounding even better. What else does this green guru of life tell us? Well, if you were able to read just one chapter in this book - this would be it: "Finding Your Inner Tadpole or A Frog's Spiritual Journey". Again, I quote:
What is your inner tadpole? There are many different definitions. Some call it your soul or your spirit. Others call it your conscience...Whatever you decide to call it, your inner tadpole is what guides you through the calm streams and raging rapids of life. It is what keeps you afloat at low tide and goes skinny-dipping with you at high tide. It is the essence of you.
So why worry about it? I mean, if it's the "essence" of you, that means it's already there hanging out inside you. It can take care of itself, right? On the contrary, your inner tadpole needs you to care for it. It needs you to say, "Thank you, inner tadpole" and "Hey, inner tadpole, want to play a game of solitaire together?" In other words, your inner tadpole needs to know you care.
Young children, being tadpoles themselves, are very much in touch with their inner tadpoles. Their voice of innocence is the voice of their inner tadpole speaking loud and clear. It is refreshing, bracing, and sometimes embarrassing, but it is always honest.
As we leave childhood and deal with all the crises and chaos that come with being a gown-up, we can lose touch with our inner tadpole. We don't talk to it. We don't call or send a box of candy. We get too busy to listen to our inner tadpole, and as a result, we become what is referred to in Swamp Psychology 101 as an outer toad. (Page 139)
I think it is starting to make some sense...retirement means you don't have a job, you don't have money, you don't have clothes because they took your shirt, you're kind of like an old frog that needs to get pushed off your laurels and become young again so that you don't turn into a toad. OK, maybe I am still confused.
I think our cardigan-wearing, ingratiatingly calm, brilliant and God-loving friend in the neighborhood, Mr. Rogers can help us clear things up: At a university commencement he said:
Early in the morning of every workday before I even get to my office, I see someone who influences me greatly. This person has a job which many people might consider unglamorous and tediously mundane. He's the locker room attendant in Pittsburgh where I swim each day. His name is Jeff. We recently celebrated Jeff's 25th anniversary working at the pool - 25 years cleaning sinks and sorting towels and caring about everybody.
Well, a few weeks ago I told Jeff about writing this commencement speech, and I asked him what he thought I should say. "Tell them to be glad of who they are. They might get to be president or a teacher or a doctor or just themselves whoever they are. Everybody can do something." And he went right back to scrubbing the showers. "Blessed are the pure in heart..." To appreciate our life - and do what we can so others might appreciate theirs.
He also told this story -
I wonder if you've heard what happened at the Seattle Special Olympics a few years ago? For the 100-yard dash there were nine contestants, all of them so-called physically or mentally challenged. All nine of them assembled at the starting line; and, at the sound of the gun they took off - but one little boy stumbled and fell and hurt his knee and began to cry. The other eight children heard the boy crying. They slowed down, turned around, saw the boy and ran back to him - every one of them ran back to him. One little girl bent down and kissed the boy and said, "this will make it better."
The little boy got up, and he and the rest of the runners linked their arms together and joyfully walked to the finish line.
They all finished the race at the same time. And when they did, everyone in the stadium stood up and clapped and whistled and cheered for a long, long time. People who were there are still telling the story with obvious delight. And you know why? Because deep down we know that what matters in this life is much more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too, even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.
Now...I think I have it...retirement means you don't have a job (at least one with a pay check), you don't have money, you don't have clothes...and all that doesn't really matter...you ARE kind of an old frog (facts are facts and numbers can't lie)...laurels are over-rated and taking a leap into the unknown can be like slowing down and changing course...but what really matters is realizing that you don't have to do anything sensational in order to love or be loved...you just do what you are created to do...link arms and joyfully walk to the finish line...together.
Again, I bow to you. As you have showered me with gifts and words of appreciation, I am truly humbled and overwhelmed. Not only, with the love and warmth shown by you, but by the glimpse of the eternal and sacred that you have demonstrated. Whether near or far, let us continue to encourage and appreciate one another and continue to take this journey together with joy.
"That's about it, friends. Be cheerful. Keep things in good repair. Keep your spirits up. Think in harmony. Be agreeable. Do all that, and the God of love and peace will be with you for sure." (2 Corinthians 13:11, The Message)
To respond to this message, email Kim at hjelm@comcast.net.
