Our Stories
Tom
By Matt Grahn | posted 08/21/2008
"Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They'll end up realizing that they're the ones who need a bath." (1 Peter 3:15, The Message)
Last Friday morning I found out my cousin had chosen to end his own life. That news left me in shock for the rest of the day. I was not my easy going self to my co workers. I had to try to be kind and polite. What was really bothering me?
My earliest memory of Tom would be coming to his family's small farm in northern Minnesota. He and his brother had a go cart that they let me drive. Tom - the bigger of the two - would pick up the back of the cart to let the engine speed up, drop it when it hit full speed, and the cart would go jolting over the muddy track on the farm. One of these times of picking up the back of the go cart resulted in the gas spilling out of the tank and a fire starting, which brought a quick close to that sport...
Roseau is a small farming community in northern Minnesota, ten miles from the Canadian border. The Swedish immigrants settled on the north part of town, and the Norwegians started farming to the south. The county is organized in gravel roads set out in mile increments. When you are given directions, it is in North and South, East and West and by how many miles. These roads don't have signs! You need to know where your North was to start with.
I spent several summers as a teenager helping out on the farm. Sunday we would all go to the little Lutheran church up the road. The service was short, boring, the prayers and songs were read out the hymnal, and no one sang (except for a couple old ladies). This would be what Tom grew up with as his faith base - more of a "cultural identity" than a personal relationship with the living God.
So what was bothering me? It was the sense of regret that I was not by Tom in his time of need. I never, when I had the opportunity, introduced to him to my Savior Jesus Christ, who wants to have a personal relationship with him. Our loving Heavenly Father who is with us even when we feel all alone, who is caring for us when we don't feel cared for, who takes on Himself our troubles when we despair.
My hope is that I don't have to live with that regret again! If I care and love for someone, I will share with them the truth that sets me free...and will set them free if they choose. Let us take advantage of every opportunity God gives us to speak of the truth of the living God who loves us and wants us to be in a personal relationship with Him.
To respond to this message, email Matt at matgra_99@yahoo.com.
