Our Stories
Fear of Heights
By Abigail Welborn | posted 03/12/2009
"...[T]he Lord turns my darkness into light." 2 Samuel 2:29b (NIV)
I recently went skiing for the first time ever. Contrary to my expectations, I didn't hate it. After a bumpy start (literally), I got to where I could almost steer and usually stop. I was feeling pretty good about myself. Then my friends, skiers comfortable on black diamond runs, took us up the chair lift to where the beginner blue runs start. By this time it was dark out, so all I could see was a line of lights down a steep hill and a sign above it that mocked me with the words "Easiest way down."
It was scary beyond all reason. Seriously, there was no reason for it. I had already shown that I had the skills necessary to make it down the run. But I was petrified. In my panic, I forgot all those lessons I'd just learned about how to ski; I fell more and got more panicked.
Even as I sat there in a trembling heap on the side of the mountain, I knew I was going to make a good article out of that experience - I just wasn't sure what the lesson would be. Having made it safely (albeit slowly) down the mountain and pondered it a while on level ground, I've come up with a few lessons for you.
The first and most obvious lesson is the importance of training. In my last article, I wrote about training ourselves to be godly. When troubles come, Christians who have disciplined themselves instinctively turn to God because that's where they're used to going - in good times or bad. Just as the experienced skier knows how to turn automatically, so the more we train ourselves to turn to God, the easier and more natural it becomes.
Beyond that, I realized that if I had been able to control my fear, I would have been in much better shape. Sure, I might have fallen a few times, but falling down in the snow didn't hurt. At the time, however, I wasn't thinking in terms of running into a soft bank of snow - I was afraid of losing control and plunging off the side of the mountain. I needed to bring my fears into the light, where they would have been exposed as lies. My friends weren't going to let me veer off the track. Objectively, the run was not steep enough for me to fall down the mountain. I wasn't going fast enough to fly out of control. Yet without conscious effort, I was still afraid of all those things.
We all need to bring our secret fears into the light, so that they can be countered with God's truth. They're different in every person. Maybe you're afraid that you're too far gone to be redeemed, or that God doesn't care about you personally, or that you're alone in the world. Maybe you're worried that your life won't amount to anything, or you're afraid because you aren't sure what will happen when you die. Whatever it is, you can only start to work through it when you get it out in the open.
I wish that I had retained a little more presence of mind on the slopes, but even that is a lesson of sorts. As long as you live, there will always be another chance to conquer your fears.
Abigail can be reached via email here.
