Our Stories
Testing Our Trust (or Trusting Our Tests)
By Bill Wolff | posted 07/02/2009
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this and," says the LORD Almighty, "see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have enough room for it." (Malachi 3:10)
Ever since the country decided it was in a recession, I have fallen into a dangerous area of mistrusting who God is and what He can do. He calls us to do a lot of things - some easy, some hard, and some just crazy hard. And what’s easy for you might be difficult for me and vice versa. And right now, my "difficult thing" is trusting in Him to provide for our family’s financial needs.
Now I don’t need to be reminded about God’s promises about provision. And while I’m really bad at quoting scripture, I can "Google" just about as good as anyone and so I found a whole bunch of His promises real quick - 816,000 pages on "gods + promises + provision" in 0.38 seconds. So in my head, I get it. He loves us and He’ll take care of our needs. Yet in my heart, I’m trying to convince myself I really believe it. It’s just that I’m not quite ready to give over the control of our finances to God. I guess I need some cajoling (Webster’s calls cajoling "to persuade or gently urge especially in the face of reluctance").
I’ve found this passage in Malachi 3:10 (probably Google’d it) in which God is mad at Israel for holding back their tithes and offerings. God says, "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse... Test me in this and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have enough room for it." Wow - now that’s cajoling!
So at this point I’ve got to admit I’m struggling with the "whole tithe" issue. Ever since I left the salaried world, my contribution to the family income can be hit or miss (a lot more misses than hits, lately). It’s hard to commit money today not knowing what next month might look like. It’s difficult for me, but probably not so much for God. I get that. And with respect to the "test me" part, perhaps God is asking me to take a small step of commitment. "Test me" sounds a lot like "trust me". And I guess I get that, too. So if I get it, what’s holding me back?
Keith read a passage in church a few weeks ago that struck a chord within me. It goes something like this: "God does not calls us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust in Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves into difficult situations where we would be in trouble if He didn’t come through." So what would happen if my "whole tithe" wipes out next month’s mortgage payment? How’s that for a difficult situation?!
So while God has been saying to me, "Test Me - Trust Me", I’ve been turning that around to sound more like "Show me the money!" And that has to change. So, Keith-David, I’m going test Him. Open those floodgates, Lord. I’m ready to receive that blessing. Right after I build up a little more cushion in my bank account.
Bill
Bill can be reached via email here.
