Our Stories
I AM
By Aaron Soderlund | posted 01/07/2010
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27
I am who I think you think I am. That phrase has been stuck in my head for the past few days. In an attempt to master parenting (which Beth and I have just about completed, by the way), I just started the book, Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. This phrase was a title in the third chapter and talks about how (simplified for length) the way our children perceive that we perceive them, is how they will act and become.
Since Christmas, bedtime has not been our friend in the Soderlund house. And after a week of disobedience, we had grown pretty frustrated at night even before that night’s problems actually started happening. And if I look at it from the perspective of the child (who shall remain nameless) in this new context, then he thinks he knows we’re going to be frustrated with him, which then tells him that is who he is and then he just follows suit accordingly. It’s an issue of self-concept.
Isn’t that something that we all face? I don’t think this is limited to children. The media may not directly tell me that I’m overweight, but I think that they are telling me that by how they advertise and cast, so guess what? I start feeling like I need to drop 25 pounds. Enter New Year’s Resolution time. The gyms are packed in January as people try to correct what they now believe they are.
One instance of feeling like I’m being told that I’m overweight isn’t so much the problem. It’s the years and years of feeling like I’ve been told this that it has become a self-concept. I’m assuming that’s why when I lose the weight it comes back. Because I no longer fit my self-concept. So I behave in a way that takes me back to where I am used to being and have long believed I am. That’s why people quit the gym in February. I imagine this is huge in a child’s life. He will be getting his self-concept largely from us as parents and it will carry on for many years, if not his whole life. But no pressure, right?
The Bible tells us that we are created in the image of God. How about that for a self-concept? Where’s that deep belief when I need it? God is perfect. I am perfect as I am made in his image. Twenty-five pounds does not make a difference. Should I be healthy? Yes. In a world where I am bombarded by people telling me one thing, how do I hold on that my self-concept needs to be that I am created in the image of God, the Creator of the world? How do I begin changing that self-concept so that when I finally start to realize it, I don’t go back to where I came from?
I’m not shunning New Year’s Resolutions. I think they are wonderful and it’s a great benchmark to start something. But whatever it is, do it in the knowledge that you are created in the image of God. And that should be your self-concept. Not the outcome of your resolution. I’m not saying that I’ve got it figured out. I’m not saying that I even have any clue how to help my children have good self-concepts. But I do know that I want them to know deep down that they are created in the image of God. Luckily for them they look like their parents, too.
Aaron can be reached via email here.
