Following the Star

After leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses, one of the hardest things for me to accept was the celebration of birthdays. This may seem like a no-brainer, but I really struggled with this. As I look back, their argument was pretty shallow. They argued that there were only two mentions of birthdays in the Bible, and both were marked by an execution. One was Pharaoh ordering the execution of the chief baker (Gen. 40:20-22). The other was Herod Antipas ordering the beheading of John the Baptist (Matt. 14:6-10).

They also argued that birthdays brought inappropriate praise and acclamation that should only go toward God. The day of one’s birth is the key to astrological predictions (condemned in the Bible). Ecclesiastes 7:1 says, “A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth.” There is no record of Jesus celebrating birthdays; He commanded us to celebrate His death. I bought it all.

As a boy, I only remember one time that I had a birthday party. It was traumatic. I was 8 or 9 years old. I remember crying and throwing a tantrum because I didn’t get any presents (or maybe not the presents I wanted). Looking back, I remember feeling selfish and self-centered. I was later embarrassed by my behavior and the feelings it brought back. It colored my view of birthdays from that time forward. Birthdays carried negative memories.

So, not celebrating birthdays was not a sacrifice. Why should we celebrate someone solely because they were born today? Did they do something to merit praise and celebration? Why should it be automatic and expected (even if not deserved)? I continued with this general attitude well past leaving the Witnesses.

In time, my attitude softened. As I made friends through church and work, it was assumed that I would attend birthday parties and give presents. I made peace with this because I wanted to fit in socially. However, I was very uncomfortable with celebrating my own birthday and especially receiving presents. It went against my introverted, under-the-radar nature.

Later, I realized that the Witnesses' teachings and my own negative birthday experience might be an over-reaction. Nobody died at these birthday parties. No one was worshiped or given praise on the level of God. It was a fun reason to get together and share. No one asked for astrological signs. There was no devil worship. Nonetheless, I continued with my personal reservations.

THEN I MET CAROL!

Carol is unlike anyone I had ever met. She is pretty, smart, a good housekeeper, cook and baker, she has spunk (I used to hate spunk), and is ready for adventure at the drop of hat. AND, she celebrates birthdays! Not only that, she and her daughters celebrate birthdays like I had never seen.

Here is a good example. Early in our dating, she told me I was invited to Kari’s birthday party. That was fine. I went. Birthday dinner, birthday cake, candles, presents, celebration, laughter and good fun. This was nice. I guess I could handle that. Then, a couple days later, Carol invited me out to dinner. The rest of the family was coming also. We would be celebrating Kari’s birthday.

WAIT A MINUTE! We just celebrated Kari’s birthday! What’s going on? What am I missing here? Carol just smiled. “Welcome to our family.” So, I began to learn that in Carol’s family, it isn’t a birth “day”. It is more like a birth “week” and sometimes, if it is special, a birth “month”.

In time I learned that these “birthdays” were more than celebrating a person. These were excuses to get together as a family for fun and fellowship. And actually, they looked for just about any reason to celebrate. “We are all getting together to celebrate Caleb’s report card.” Or, "Hannah’s new bedroom set.” Or, "because it’s Thursday.”

It has only taken me about 35 years to get with the program, and I still have a lot to learn. I am grateful for our family, and for their joy in celebrating together, and sharing that celebration with a curmudgeon like me. I am grateful that they include me. I am the one that is blessed. I hope they never change. (Nehemiah 8:12)

Ed. note - Bob's story was inspired by Pastor Julie's Christmas sermon - Follow That Star