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Jani James

It's Not Good for the Woman to be Alone

I returned from Washington DC on a Tuesday night with great expectations. My calendar was filled with things I love - a houseful of Whisper guests on Wednesday night, Bible study Thursday morning, worship rehearsal and fellowship after on Thursday night, the grandsons’ music recital and babysitting in the evening on Saturday night, and then, of course, Sunday! Worship team in the morning and the event of the year - Creekside Family Feud - in the evening.


Well, I missed it all due to a pile-on of infections - sinus, ear, eyes.


I asked God, “Ok, what now? How do I navigate being grounded? You’re still on the centerline of my life, Jesus. What does obedience to You look like now? Is it possible to walk in a manner worthy of you, and bear fruit?”


I’ve had a lot of time for thinking. I revisited many of the threads arising from “what now?” after my parents died. And with my new Whisper vocabulary, I pondered doors and signs and people and pain. There have been a few take-aways through this, and I will credit God for them, as He thinks the very best thoughts. Any stupid stuff, though, is my own.


One. FOMO(1) is real, but not when it comes to Jesus, not if you’re paying attention. He’s always there, ready to speak, ready to listen. For everything else, I CAN miss out without my world ending. Good to know! But, no FOMO with Jesus. He’s always there, ready to give wisdom and help you walk in a manner worthy of Him. (Col 1:9-14)


Two. Matthew 11:28-30 has new meaning. (See verse below) I have it memorized now, because I kept bringing it up to Jesus and asking - how does this work now? How is pain an easy yoke? Show me the way to Your rest. I learned that pain and illness can be the yoke of Jesus. It produces a different fruit, a very private fruit. I remembered both my parents in their final illnesses. Both of them, sweet Christians, were caring and inspiring people to their caregivers and family. Even Mom, with her total dementia, exhibited the spirit of Jesus. One dear NAC stood at the foot of her bed just after she passed and said, “She was a fighter. We all loved her.” My little bit of illness does not compare to what she or Dad went through. But, if I bear the yoke of Jesus faithfully in this little thing, then perhaps I will faithfully bear much one day, if it comes to that.


Three. Matthew 6:34 is so comforting! “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” When your brain is fogged, and pain is clamoring for attention, worry doesn’t get far. Oh, I could worry about “what if this never ends . .?” but even that doesn’t get much traction. Today’s trouble is enough.

Four. It’s not good for the woman to be alone. How blessed it is to have a loving husband! Every day that’s true. But how acute it feels when I’m down for the count. He is sympathetic and tender. He becomes my first-line “doctor”, advising me on medicines and care. He fills in the social gaps, like taking food to the Whisper group, and doing the babysitting without me.


He’s always my sounding board. But with so much chair-time and inactivity, and even with the brain fog, my thoughts keep percolating, swirling around, remembering our history, wondering what’s to come. He’s devoted extra time to listening and sharing his thoughts, including his beautiful gift of discernment and wisdom. It’s so good for the woman NOT to be alone.


So there you are. Lessons from a sinus infection. I’m so grateful.


“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light.”


(1) Fear Of Missing Out

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Jani this is sooo good!!!

Much wisdom that you share here with us which I for one will hearken back to when needed. Thank you and God bless you and bring healing to your body and peace to your soul.

Devorah Bell

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