There for Each Other

In my early twenties, I got kicked out of the Laetrile clinic in Las Vegas, when Grandma Adris was having a treatment for breast cancer. I had flown down to Las Vegas with Grandma and Grandpa to assist as companion and make-shift nurse while we stayed at a motel. During treatment, I was sitting by her as IV drugs dripped into her bloodstream. All I could do was cry. The nurse said, “You’re not helping. If you can’t be cheery, go outside.” So I did. God was there with me. The Holy Spirit was a comfort. But, I was alone. I had to suck it up, stop crying and go be of help to Grandma Adris as best I could.

In 2018, Kent had a health crisis on a family trip to California. He spent two weeks in the hospital and four days in the ICU on a ventilator. I cried a lot and I sucked it up a lot. How to be there for him, in terrible suffering, in minutes and hours that felt like forever? In the ICU, we would wait eagerly for morning rounds. The intensivist, the ICU chief, would come around, look at Kent’s stats for a minute or two, and pronounce - yes or no - can he get off the ventilator? Click, click, her brain assessed and she said, “Not today.” And off she went to the next room. Another 24 hours of torture. I’ll grant you that there was a reason for the ventilator, but each minute on it was horrible.

God was there for us. The Holy Spirit was there for us in His own impressive and amazing Self. But we would have felt very alone without the others with skin on who were there for us.

Local family were there, providing housing and a car for me to use. I was a rather absent guest, leaving before they were up in the morning and arriving late in the evening, if at all. Kent’s sister let us use her house as a half-way place when he left the hospital but was too weak to fly home to Washington.

My kids surprised me when they heard Dad was in the ICU. They had jobs and young children. But, they each jumped on the earliest plane they could and came out to California to be there with their Dad and me. I hadn’t asked. My good friend, Kerry, had said to me (by text) point blank, “You shouldn’t be alone. Ask your kids to come.” Before I could even process that possibility, my kids texted their flight details. They were on their way. On the day when Kent got rid of the awful ventilator and moved out of the ICU, they made plans to leave. At great cost, they had come when most needed. When the crisis eased, they went back to their families. They were there for us.

Who else was there for Kent and I? Creekside! Pastors, prayer chain, sisters, brothers. My Bible study ladies had a text chain. I’d send a quick note. They’d pour love into the text chain, each from their own unique heart and in their own unique voice. Prayers, encouragement, Scripture, emoticons. They were there for us and for me. I still hear (though it was in a text) Kerry’s voice in my mind, “God’s got this, Jani!” Kerry had walked through many years of illness with her husband, and had just said the final goodbye at his death two months earlier. When she said (and still says), “God’s got this!” - the words are weighted with all her experience of suffering and God’s sustaining peace. For me, her words were vehicles of the Holy Spirit’s love and power. All in a simple text! And not hers only, but everyone’s.

I have a necklace that I picked up at some bargain fest. It’s a picture of two fish and five little buns of bread. Imagine how nothing that little bit of food would appear if you had a few thousands of hungry people to feed. Yet, it’s a symbol of God’s power and love.

In the gospels we read about the little boy who was there for the hungry crowd, and for the disciples too, who were saddled with Jesus’ direction: “You feed them!” The little boy gave his nothing, his little bit. And look what Jesus did! Gave thanks, blessed it, multiplied it, and fed thousands of people. (See John 6:5-13 and other gospels.)

Take heart, dear church. There is suffering in our midst. But, we all are God’s ministers to one another. God’s got this! We all have ways to be there for each other. It may be small. It may seem like nothing. Offer it to the Lord and He will bless it and make it wonderful.